In my earlier post, I have spoken about mindful parenting and its importance. The following points can help us to bring up our child/ren in a positive way.
- Parents work as team: This means that parents agree on family values and parenting style best suited for their family. As parents come from different households, having different values, the way they deal with their kids will be different. This adds confusion to the household. It’s best for parents to discuss the parenting strategies in absence of kid/s. If any new situation arises, which has not been discussed by parents earlier, parents can tell kid/s that they need some time to discuss it mutually. This showcases kid/s that their parents work as a team.
- Timetable: Having a timetable is a pre-requisite for smooth functioning of any household. This is more so true for family with kid/s. Timetable brings schedule in life. It allows us to plan well, complete tasks on time as well as have quality family time. Timetable also reduces debate between kids and parents regarding subsequent tasks/activities. (Details on ‘Timetable’ in upcoming post).
- Consequences for misbehaviour: Kids are individual who needs our guidance. It’s best to correct them at early age, as they will know that there are rules to follow to live in society. Kids can be guided with following steps:
- Set a consequence: As adults, we got to set consequences for our kids’ misbehaviour. Eg. If they do not perform their tasks they will not be allowed playtime for a day.
- Consequences proportionate with misbehaviour: the consequences given to kids got to be fair to their misconduct. Eg. If the kid throws TV remote intentionally in anger, he/she should not be allowed TV time for next two days rather than a week.
- Follow through: when we set consequences and we don’t give punishment to kids, it showcases our lack of commitment to our parenting strategies. Kid/s start taking us for granted and they presume that it’s okay to misbehave. Eg. When we tell our kid/s they won’t be given play dates if they hit their friends. We got to implement this consequence, even if it upsets them.
- Explain kids that we didn’t like their misbehaviour: it is essential to tell kids that we are unhappy about their misconduct and that we love them as individuals. This would help the kid to improve behaviour, rather than feeling unloved.
- Respect choices of your kids: We truly flourish in relationships where we are respected. Same is the case with our kids. Respect is not in-built, but it is learnt from adults around kids. Eg. In a restaurant, we could have a practice of choosing starters by taking turns individually among parents and kids.
- Temporary happiness v/s permanent damage: As parents, we got to understand that when we oblige to kids demands instantly every single time, we are giving them temporary happiness and spoiling them, by not setting appropriate boundaries. Eg. Every time allowing kid/s to buy toys whenever they ask.
Friends, do try it out to see positive results in your parenting!!!
(C) Shilpa Naik