Mindful parenting – delayed gratification approach

“Mummy, I want fried fish for lunch!” he demanded. His mum thought “It will make my son happy.” Off she went to kitchen and started to clean the fish and in no time fried fish was served in plate of her beloved son. This and many of his demands were instantly met without giving a second thought by his mum.

Most often, we as parents think that it is our prime duty to make our child/ren happy and we go beyond our efforts and resources, to provide them what they wish for. But in doing so, we neglect our duty to teach them patience.

There is a vast difference in doing the pleasant action and doing the right one. In order to make our kid/s happy, we act as child/ren pleasers by giving into their demands instantly or fulfilling their desires without even thinking its impact on child’s well-being and/or health as well as our resources. On the other hand, doing the right action requires more objective thinking and a conscious choice. When we opt for right action, we may come in bad books of our kids but we got to risk that for our child’s welfare.

Many a times, I come across parents giving reasons like:

  • If I give my kid/s what they want, they will in turn listen to me as I have obliged to their wishes
  • Giving into kid/s demands saves a lot of time as child gets what they want and there are no arguments
  • Fulfilling kid/s desires means no stress job as we need not explain them what is right for them
  • As there is no need to talk about the reason why they are not allowed certain things, it keeps the parents-children highway running smoothly

How long do you think this will last?  As the kid/s grow up, they become more demanding as they have received what they wanted when they asked for. They become very anxious as they have learned instant gratification early on from their parents. They become socially irresponsible as their parents have not set rigid boundaries about their behaviour.

If we want to have disciplined kids, we go to be firm in our attitude as parents. We should avoid giving instant gratification and tell kid/s they will get what they have asked for, at the right time. We, as parents, got to understand that teaching what is right action verses what is pleasant will take time but it will be worth it as we see our kid/s grow up into fine adults.






8 thoughts on “Mindful parenting – delayed gratification approach

  1. Hi Shilpa,
    Very thought provoking writing…
    Most parents never think about this side of the coin. Love for their kids make parents unable to distinguish between right action and pleasant one. Very well noted the drawbacks of such parenting and also solution for the same. Hope this reaches out to maximum parents so that corrective measures be taken. Very proud of you for writing such wonderful thoughts…
    Good Wishes to all for good parenting so that we have great future…


  2. Shilpa, very well written 👌……this aspect of parenting is indeed a must read for every parent. I love how parents can gift their kids the power of patience in their early life.


  3. Very well said Shilpa… During our times when we were small, we were not given whatever we want by our parents, which helped us to achieve what we wanted and the result is what we are now…


  4. Shilpa, it’s sad but true. Nowadays some parents themselves have no patience, so they immediately give in may be in the name of love and affection. Does it mean our parents didn’t love us?
    Everyone wants to make life easy n fast n this has resulted in eroding values in life. Instead of blaming tv, cell phones, friends,… We gotta blame ourselves first.
    Small suggestion
    Why not we have counseling for to be parents, on parenting.


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